a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
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