You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
