By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
