No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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