No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
