If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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