I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
