I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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