I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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