we're blogging at a bar
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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