we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
