areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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