Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
