You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
