I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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