I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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