hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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