Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
