i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
