So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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