chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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