It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
