Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
