Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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