id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
