My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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