Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
