You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
