perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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