im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
