You can't special order awesome
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
