You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The air was thick with penises
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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