After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
