So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
