Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize