I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
