I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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