he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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