not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
