I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
