Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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