Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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