what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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