So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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