I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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