Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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