I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize