her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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