break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
