it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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