Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i've created a new STD.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
