Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
