Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize