I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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