My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i came on her dog
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
