I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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