honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
