The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
