I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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