I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
