She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
