Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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